OLIVER TWIST

     It all began in the garden of Eden. The rule was simple: "Of every tree of the garden thou mayest freely eat. But of the tree of good and evil, thou shalt not eat of it. For the day thou eatest thereof, thou shalt surely die".

Then came the serpent. He/she did some sweet-talking and in no time, Eve was munching on the fruit. The forbidden fruit. Eden was no longer good enough. The thought of what might happen if the forbidden fruit was consumed appealed more to her than the comfort Eden afforded her and the warnings the Holy One had dished out. And Adam being a man, fell for Eve's antics(men have, are and will continue to fall at the feet of women).

Take it or leave it, our world has always evolved around women. From the days of Eve and the garden-of-Eden fiasco to the day each and every one of us stepped right into this earthly plain. We were borne of women, fed, breastfed, nurtured and taken care of by them.

We got enrolled into schools(for the lucky ones). We boys fought amongst ourselves to win the admiration of our female counterparts. The higher we climbed up the ladder of education, the more sophisticated this battle became. This battle came in different shades tho. From topping the class through academic brilliance to wowing the ladies with a stunning sense of humour and good looks to putting our 'swag' on to the fullest level(whatever that means).

It doesn't just end there. Moving into the increasingly competitive labour market, men have been seeking for means to drive the best of wheels,  live in the most luxurious of apartments, wear the best of clothes just to impress women. Whether through internet fraud (Yahoo Yahoo), Street engineering, or a few visits to the Babalawo. No one cares. And then all those musical videos produced by Clarence Peters we normallysee doesn't even help matters at all.

We see ladies flocking around these artistes in these videos,  going nude if necessary.
"Guy see babes.. Nna, I must to hammer for this life o".
This becomes the motto. No one cares how. But in spite of all these, we males are oblivious of the fact that these ladies we'd want to impress would never be impressed enough, would never be contented.

I have female undergraduates as friends. One nice guy comes around and shows genuine affection and care, doing his best as a student can. Then you hear something like "I can't date a fellow student o. Can he take care of me, provide my needs, pay my school and accommodation fees?" Bla bla bla.. Then you begin to wonder "What are the functions of their parents/guardians?"
Then comes Mr Working Class who's able to take full care of her. The relationship goes on for sometime and it finally dawns on her that the only connection Mr Working Class has with her is just sexual and nothing more. She  becomes a sex slave in return for material goodies she's being showered with. Deep down, she longs for true love's kiss, that guy that'd call at 2am just to tell her how much she means to him. that dude that'd show so great an affection that would even make Romeo to be turning in his grave.

After seeing series of mushy, love plays on Telemundo, after seeing those charming princes profess undying love in some of those Hollywood classics, reality strikes. They haven't found true love. "Why can't I find someone to love me other than a guy who's just interested in bedding me? When am I going to be loved like this?"

Then Prince Charming comes along and becomes as true and charming as they've ever wished for. Suddenly, the question changes from 'When am I going to be loved like this?' to 'Na love we go chop?' Women can hardly be satisfied. Even God gave them eyebrows and they still choose to shave it off and draw their own.

If Mother Eve was in the Garden of Eden where one Naira equalled one dollar(was  there even dollar sef), where there was free fuel, constant electricity, no Boko Haram, free food, where her husband was not cheating on her with anyone and she still wasn't satisfied, the Lord said I should ask thee today, brother. From whence does thou think that the satisfaction of her(Eve) daughters would come from?

This article was writen by- Victor Edwin